havent been blogging.
some updates, some thoughts.

parents used to taught us that 忍一时，风平浪静。
but the working world taught me likewise.

working world taught me that in order to survive, I have got to fight hard to defend myself.
i have got to be a tougher girl. i mean tougher woman.
it seems that i need to fight real hard for things i wanna achieve.
that meaning, even to resort to denying certain truths or misleading people into believing ur viewpoints.

how sad?
but how true all these can be.

someone at work once told me:
WHY BOTHER MAKING OTHERS HAPPY BY MAKING YOURSELF UNHAPPY?

i think my life has somehow evolved with the objective of pleasing others since the major change when i was 14. (when my dad was sick). before that, i was a spoilt brag, but i was a happy little girl. i get everything i want without spending much thoughts for others. Thereafter, after 14, i was more like living my life for others. my primarily objective of my existence was to make people around me happy, sometimes at the expense of my own happiness. but i had a lot more friends. i guess afterall, there is always a trade off in whatever we do in life.

frankly, i am kind of tired.

i think meishan deserves more love from meishan.

indeed, i love myself more and more each day.
this girl here blogging deserves more love.
she deserves more attention, more indulgences.
but it isnt from YOU.
is going to be from herself.

but, i am going to strive even harder for my parents.
passion vs reality.
i chose reality for now.
monetary returns are important.
quality time with them are important as well.
smiles. sincerity. simple happiness are very important too.

passion. i am afraid i m going to leave you behind for a while.
dont worry. i will be back for you.
give me a few years.
when i have given my best to my loved ones.
they fought so hard in life for me.
i have to returned everything and do even more.

especially with Baby now, i got to work even harder.
much more committments.
but dont worry.

i know i can :)